Sunday, September 28, 2008

Infuriating Carry-On Luggage

I realize that I may be alone here, and I realize my infuriation is probably due to the recent charging of the checked-in bags. But seriously, charging for the checked bags is not the answer to the problem of high gas prices. Here's why.

Let's take our return trip home as an example. It was already delayed by 2 hours which rescheduled everyone's connecting flights if they were indeed connecting. We were in that group. So we were already going to get home several hours later than planned. Everyone on the freaking plane except us (maybe not everyone but most) had one of those rolling suitcases that are approximately 2x3x1.5 give or take on the dimensions. But you get an idea of what I'm talking about. This was not a jumbo jet and the flight was full. So there is limited overhead space.

When the plane arrived and they started boarding, everyone, well most everyone, was anxious to get the show on the road and get out of there. Maybe just us, as I rethink the surrounding peripherals right before boarding. You know people talking loudly to others around them trying to show off just how witty and awesome they are while the rest of us are trying to hear the announcements from the gate agents. That kind of crap. Then when we are lining up in our groups to board, someone decides to tell someone to board in his group, presumably because he was hoping to pick up this chick who I'm sure he'd formed a lasting bond with in the airport after a few hours of delayed waiting around. Because boarding with her will give him that extra few minutes to "seal the deal" with her. Obviously.

Back to the bags. So we're boarding and everyone has to find a place for their suitcase overhead. This is not a problem if you're in the first few groups. However as time goes on the line slows down as people having a more difficult time finding a place for their suitcase by their seat. And if you are in the last group like we were, the line was inching along by then. Not to mention I still had to put up with the ridiculous chatter of the ever so witty and interesting people around me that just happened to be in the same group or in the group in front of us. Oh the insanity.

So we finally get to our seat and once we got there, it was a quick process because our carry-ons fit underneath the seat in front of us. Did I forget to mention that the gate agents did a terrible job of enforcing the one carry-on and one personal item to go underneath the seat in front of you? This was on all of our flights on the way home which happened to be mostly full.

While we're sitting there waiting impatiently for the rest of the line to stash their bags and find their seats, the last guy seems to be wandering aimlessly around like a chicken with his head cut off. The flight attendant asks him to please find his seat and he says he doesn't know where it is. WHAT!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!!! were you born on this island and this is your first time venturing off of it???? Not buying it if that's what you're selling. So she helps him and somehow even though the seat number he said was not behind us, he ends up sitting right behind us. Right next to a fruity lady who actually had the nerve to make the comment to him "That's ok, we waited on them, now they can wait on us." YOU ARE THE TWO NUT-JOBS PREVENTING THE PILOT FROM LEAVING!!!!!

It took all the restraint I had to keep from turning around and strangling them while shouting, "YOU ARE MAKING THE REST OF US WAIT, WHO ALSO HAD TO WAIT ON THEM TWO, AND YOU ARE MAKING THE REST OF US WAIT TOO!!!!! NOW MOVE YOU UNTHOUGHTFULLY SLOW MORONS!!!" Or something along those lines.

Anyways I propose a new baggage policy. If you're hurting to make more money, charge people for the any carry-on they want to take on that won't fit underneath the seat in front of them, not the 2 checked bags. This will take care of the delays that are most likely happening as a result of charging for the checked bags. And take care of the space issues on board that are now arising from this. Also if you have a carry on policy such as one and one, enforce it. So many people had way more than one overhead suitcase and one personal item.

I actually have another solution but it's related to a completely different problem and will have to wait for another day or a high-paying job with one of the airlines. But it would revolutionize the airline industry and solve more than one problem.

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