Sunday, November 30, 2008

The New Word for Next Year

I recently heard that the word for this year 2008, is bailout. This is followed by vet, vetted, or any derivitive. From my experience it would have to go to vetted. This is because I had never heard the term until this election season. As soon as I heard it, I noticed many people using it at work in meetings, unnecessarily I might add. I find both of these words obnoxious and irritating.

Anyway, I'm starting the ball rolling on next year's word of the year. With your help we can make this happen. I came up with it on a fluke in my boss's boss's office while explaining some numbers. The word is:

Dramastically - When Dramtically and Drastically just don't quite get the point across by themselves.


The pain in my back is reduced dramastically when I do my stretching exercises.

The fiscal impact is changed dramstically when the new found circumstances are taken into account.

I like this word. I think it has a nice ring to it. And has definitely has a lower irritation factor than the words bailout and vetted. So join with me, let's put out a dramastic effort to make this the 2009 word of the year. People will think you're clever and funny as I got quite a laugh when I used it.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Man "Loses" Phone at McDonald's; Wife's Nekked Pictures on Internet; They Sue McDonald's

Read the article.

Now I will discuss. Who takes nekked pictures of themselves with their cell phone over the age of 18? And who "looses" said cell phone in a public place? And if someone found that cell, would they really look for nekked pictures and then post them on the Internet?

My theory, and I know I'm not alone, is that husband and wife develop what they think to be a genius plot.
Step 1: Wife strips nekked
Step 2: Husband takes pictures with his phone in various "sexy" poses
Step 3: Husband goes to McDonald's for a Big Mac
Step 4: Take phone out of pocket
Step 5: Put phone on table while eating because you can't feel it vibrating in your pocket
Step 6: Finish stuffing face
Step 7: Get up to leave
Step 8: Leave phone clearly on the table
Step 9: Ignore any attempt to get your attention as you run as fast as you can to your car
Step 10: Speed off as fast as you can, not looking back
Step 11: Arrive home and call McDonald's
Step 12: Tell them you will come get the phone but whatever they do, don't look at the nekked pictures of your wife
Step 13: Retrieve the phone and return home
Step 14: Upload pictures to Internet
Step 15: Call sleazy lawyer and accuse McDonald's of causing you deep emotional distress and pain and suffering
Step 16: Call every paper in the country to tell them sob story
Step 17: Wait for Hugh Hefner to call
Step 18: Pimp wife out to pose for Playboy, her life long dream.
Step 19: Get divorced, because wife discovers she can do way hotter and richer than husband
Step 20: Go back to being poor schlub with nothing but your Big Mac to ease your pain and suffering.

That's how I envision it went/will go down. I'm sure I could be wrong. But I'd be shocked if I'm too far off their intentions.

Oh in case you didn't bother to read the article, this went down in Arkansas....Now does my version seem more likely??

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!!!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Irish Cheddar Cheese

Sometimes my husband and I like to have our version of a special light supper, which usually consists of smoked salmon, which was and still is a bit of an acquired taste for me, but nonetheless I try it, crackers, and some kind of special cheese. Sometimes we throw in some kind of veggie or fruit if we feel like it. I usually pick out the cheese, and I try to pick something new, yet hopefully something that won't be a complete waste of money. Meaning at least one of us will finish it. So I've never purchased Limburger cheese even in the name of trying it. I fear the smell of ass might ruin it for us. So I figure it's best just to avoid it.

This last time I saw some Irish Cheddar cheese and thought, hey, it's cheddar so it's familiar, it's Irish, so it's different and we've never tried Irish cheese to our knowledge. I couldn't go wrong with this right? Well. It's ok, but Jay didn't much care for it. It's more sharp than he likes, and for me it's ok but I'm not in love. And I LOVE cheese. Either way I'm determined not to let it go to waste, so I will eat it even if it kills me.

This cheese has been sitting in our refrigerator for almost 2 weeks maybe more I think. So tonight as I was making my lunch for tomorrow, I thought I better take some for lunch in an effort to get rid of it. So I pulled it out of the baggy it's in, and a smell much more pungent than I remember wafted up my nose. Surely my nose was just stuffed up the first time around, but it got worse as I cut it. I fully expect it to take on the smell of feet by the time lunch arrives tomorrow, because it was almost there tonight. I'm still determined not to let it go to waste. It's not that old. I'll just make sure to wash it down with grapes. Hopefully they will be fermented grapes so I can make it through the afternoon at work.

What's your favorite cheese? Mine's Pecorino.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Things I Hate/Things I Love

Things I Hate (In no particular order)
-People wearing a blue tooth in their ear while not on the phone
-My Job
-My Hair
-Wasteful Spending
-Necessary Spending
-My Moments of Insanity
-Inappropriate Sensitivity
-Hurting people's feelings
-Speed Traps
-Speeding Tickets; especially for less than 11 miles over the limit
-My Feet
-Tooth Pain
-Food Poisoning
-My Irrationality
-Refusal to learn from mistakes
-Feeling trapped in a job
-That I'm not more of a risk taker
-Income Taxes
-Being Sad
-Not remembering details that other people do

Things I Love (In no particular order except the first 2)
-My Husband
-My Dog
-Ice Cream
-My Friends
-My Family
-A good belly laugh
-A good sense of humor
-Having a genius moment of wit drawing roaring laughter from others
-$4 Sweaters
-Playing with dogs
-Sales Tax (as opposed to Income ala the Fair Tax)
-Being Outside
-Religious Freedom
-Being Valued
-Skiing (Snow and Water)
-Being Responsible
-How teenagers think they're soooo deep (I know I did)
-Cool Whip
-The Office (the TV show and the movie)
-Personal Responsibility
-Paying off debts
-Days off work
-Good Memories
-Memory loss related to a painfully itchy allergic reaction to penicillin 11 years ago
-People who can be objective and open-minded
-Getting comments on my posts

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Hated by a Rat

There's a rat at work that's out to get me. Either the rat's a human or the rat's actually a rat. We have a rat problem so that's highly possible. I've seen them and heard the screaming women down the hall that they have terrorized. So the hate against me started with an ivy plant. If you didn't read about this in my prior post, feel free to do so.

I'm upset at the finality of my plant. I had to throw out what was left because after there was nothing left but dirt and roots, I came in a couple of different mornings and there was dirt spread out on my desk around the plant. So I figure some human hates me enough to dig at my plant, which is very vengeful, or some rat hates me enough to dig at my plant. Perhaps in search of water or food or whatever. Either way it's hateful.

So I had one plant left on my desk. A poinsettia. Yesterday I came in and rather than full stems being torn off, there were several leaves that looked like they had bites taken out of them. I don't know any humans snacking on poinsettias, but I do work for the government, so you just never know. Aren't poinsettias poisonous? Well if a rat ate it I might have successfully got one!!! Which you'd think they'd be dropping like flies since there are poinsettias all over the place since someone gave them out last year for Christmas.

This morning I came in and there was a chewed up piece of gum discarded on my floor. It looked like extra spearmint. It was that bright greenish yellowish color. It was no where near my trash can. So either someone decided it would be a great idea to spit out their gum on my floor or the rat got into a piece of gum somewhere and is now chewing it, and had no good way of getting to the trashcan level to properly dispose of it.

WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU RAT???? What can I do to make amends? Or kill you. Whichever you prefer. Just leave me alone!!! Stay away from my desk!! NO RATS ALLOWED!!! Take your gum at get out of the building. I'll buy you some gum if you'll just leave. But beware, I will lace it with rat poison for your chewing pleasure.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

What's Your Dream Job?

I wonder how many people are actually getting paid to do their dream job. I am not one of those lucky people. It took me 30 years to narrow my dream job down to 2 possibilities on the complete opposite spectrum of jobs. One job thrives on donations or being independently wealthy and the other most likely gets paid a pretty hefty salary.

The first dream job is to rescue dogs from kill shelters that are about to get executed by virtue of not getting adopted by anyone. But I envision having my facility on several acres, living there with large indoor/outdoor kennels for the dogs and large open play areas for them during the day. Some of them may live there their whole lives, but hopefully most would find good homes to get adopted out to, but have a good loving resort-like interim home until they find their forever home.

This dream job makes me sound like a good, sweet, loving person doesn't it?

My other dream job is to be the consultant that goes into government agencies and cuts out the fat with an axe or butcher knife or whatever. I know it sounds like I want to lay off a bunch of people right? At times that may happen, however I've found working for the government that many jobs stay open for months and months and months without ever putting a strain on the people handling those responsibilities in the interim. In fact many of those people are bored, ask for more to do, get rejected so that an added position can be "justified." That's wasteful spending of your tax dollars, and it exists at the city, county, state, and federal level. Especially in agencies that have gotten so big and bureaucratic. So in essence, I want to be the person that eliminates wasteful spending in these government agencies and advises or teaches them how to make more efficient use with a reasonable amount of resources though methods such as cross training and delegation to name a couple.

Some of you will think this makes me sound like a horrible evil person. I respectfully disagree. I believe it's a job that helps governments be better stewards of your tax dollars.
So if you're with a consulting firm looking for a quality person like me, I can be reached at Lola's email address

What's your dream job? And are you currently getting paid for it or not?

Thursday, November 13, 2008


This is what you get when I'm feeling uninspired to write anything sarcastic, thought provoking, or down right hilarious (insert sarcasm if you don't know me)...

This takes me back to my freshman year in high school I believe. That was probably the best year of high school for me even though I was a complete dork. You see that was my first year without the terribly big plastic rimmed glasses. You sight challenged people know what I'm talking about. On the first day of school I got to hold a senior guy's hand in a get to know everyone game. That set the tone for the whole year. I was now a cool dork. Cool in my imagination of course.

Anyways I still have my cassette tape single of this song. I have purchased very few singles in my life but this was one of the few special songs I got. In fact I popped it in not too long ago and danced around the house to it. I'm pretty sure Lola thought I was having a seizure. Take the time to remember what you were doing in 1992 as you enjoy this fabulous hit. I'm not really sure it was a hit....I may have been the lone fan of this song.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Men or Women - Which Makes the Better Boss?

I have come to learn over my many years of working, that I haven't quite figured out the answer to this question other than I think I would make the ideal boss. But I'm not sure I want to find out what other people think about that. So far of all the bosses I've had (meaning the ones in authority to give me raises, fire me, etc etc..) I think I would prefer to be my own boss.

This is because they can both be moody and take it out on you if they choose. Both can be sexist towards men or women. Both can be mean and bitchy. Both can be passive to a fault meaning they refuse to deal with personnel issues if it means confronting an employee about bad behavior. Both can take credit for your work or throw you under the bus if it benefits them. Both can hold you back in your career. Both can chip away at employee morale. I'm sure there are many other things they both can do, but I have listed characteristics of my bosses. They didn't all exhibit all of these characteristics, nor were they each without their good qualities.

I guess that means I have yet to have that exceptional boss that will bend over backwards to keep me from moving on. Maybe that means I'm a terrible employee. If I am, I have yet to be told that. I did have one boss that did all she could at raise time to keep us happy, but she wasn't in a very powerful position to get us more or help me advance in the company. In fact she was removed as my boss during a "reorganization" and I got sent to the boss from hell. On a good day she could be really nice and fun and offer good advice and encouragement, but you never assumed that today would be one of those rare days so as to remember to live in fear at work. But I can even find things about her that I preferred to some of the male I've had as bosses. But then they have had qualities I've preferred to many of hers

So what do you all think? Do Men or Women make better bosses? Or are you in the same boat as me and haven't figured it out yet?

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Lola's Corner - I WENT CAMPING!!!!!

Hello Everyone and welcome back to my corner. I haven't been chatting with you as much because I've been busy campaigning for the presidency. But it can slow down now that I have another 4 years to go.

Also no one has been sending me pictures of their pets to post so I haven't had much to say. But if you want to send me pics of your beloved pets send them to

So I went camping for the first time ever last weekend and I had a BLAST!!! I was wore out by the time we got home though. I hope you enjoy my pictures...

This is me by the campfire
This is me about to eat a hot dog. YUMMY!!!
This is me looking for that dang armadillo. I scared the poo out of that thing.
This is a deer's butt
I promise I did not take a poo in front of the tent. But it's funny since I look like I am!
Aren't I just the cutest thing you ever saw?
Daddy thinks these were migrating whooping cranes. They circled for a bit but never landed so we didn't get a great look at them. Either way they were neat.
This is me after my bath since I got so filthy camping. I was very tired and napped the rest of the day

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

New Kids Concert Reviews

This is officially an open forum for you to post your review of the New Kids on the Block Concert reviews for those of you that went. My friends that were going have now all gone to my knowledge and from what I could tell they had a great time. They should feel free to correct me if I misinterpreted that.

In the meantime, I leave you with this...

My favorite part is where they sing
"oh oh oh Amber's my cover girl oh oh oh...oh oh oh"
My second favorite part is where Donny says "Bass"
That's so cool...

Sunday, November 2, 2008

The Best Time of the Year

How many of you are glad halloween is over? I know I must be the halloween grinch, but as we are childless, we shut our lights off and run for the back with no intention of answering the door if it rings. This year we went camping. Apparently Satan's minions like to go camping too. Apparently there were a bunch of witches camping mere yards from us. Not in our loop, but close enough to be loud obnoxious and well chanty. Lesson learned: next time the crazy old lady or man running the check in desk at the rural state park tells you you don't want to go over there because there's a bunch of witches over there, THEY AREN'T YANKIN' YOUR CHAIN!!! Luckily I didn't have confirmation of this until after making it through the night as I wasn't the one that checked in. Thank God for husbands that spare you that kind of information so as to not freak you out. I slept very well, except for the few times Lola woke me up growling at something sneaking around in the brush. I just hope those witches weren't after us. Who knew witches went camping on halloween??? Shouldn't they be giving out candy or something??? I think I saw some in the bathroom and their outfits were nothing like the costumes they sell in the store. I saw no brooms, pointy hats, black robes, or long crooked noses. So how was I to know??? Glad I didn't...until the next day.

I apologize, I got sidetracked. This is about the best time of the year. Thanksgiving is coming and I don't know about you all but it's the one Holiday that the greeting card, candy, and miscellaneous retail companies haven't hijacked for their pleasure. It's the one Holiday where you get to look forward to a day or two off of work, getting together with family and/or friends, relaxing, eating and having a good time without the pressure of gifts, cards, or spending money you don't want to spend. If you're lucky, you don't have to worry about making it to all extended family Thanksgiving dinners. If you're not that lucky, I'd find a way to work out just one. It's so much easier to put that off until Christmas when there's often a little more time, and usually a little more flexibility on when to get together.

Anyways I love Thanksgiving. I love looking forward to it. And I hate to see it go when it's over. Because that means a mad dash to start and or finish Christmas shopping. I'd enjoy Christmas a lot better if it were more like Thanksgiving. That's not to say I don't enjoy giving or getting, but it gets more complicated when you start a family of your own and still have expectations within your former family unit and take on a new family unit. Luckily I like to think that siblings are understanding of this dilemma and are OK with just getting together and enjoying each others company. But every family's different. Hence why I like Thanksgiving better. Less pressure.

So HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!! Enjoy it as long as possible because before you know it it will all be over.