Thursday, May 29, 2008

Harrison Ford Waxes his Chest, Thus, Saving the World

First of all, go read this article before reading on.

So apparently you can Google image “Harrison Ford’s Chest,” and a picture of his chest waxing comes up all over the place. Check it out, it's facinating. I’m sure he thinks that he’s making the point that his chest needs hair just like forests need trees. Or perhaps that cutting down trees hurts as bad as a good waxing. Since without them we will all choke to death on our own CO2, and obviously without chest hair, his career would be dead.

Well here’s the thing, what if Harrison Ford’s chest looks better without hair? Is that going to confuse the viewers of this public service announcement? Harrison Ford looks better without chest hair, so our world looks better without trees. What if someone watching doesn’t have chest hair? Is the metaphor lost on them? Are they found wildly running down the street screaming, distressed over the meaning that was lost on them? What do trees and chest hair have in common? I mean they aren’t even removed in the same way are they? One way involves wax, and the other involves a chain saw, or some other sophisticated form of extraction.

Ah…here’s what they have in common. Both are providing jobs to someone who would like to put food on their table, and maintain independence from their families or from the government taking care of them.

I think a more effective way of making the deforestation point would be to plant a tree or two. And to get other people involved in planting trees. I get it, we need trees all over the world. Just the other week, we replaced a poorly planted and falling over tree in our yard with a new one. But here’s the thing, people need jobs, and countries should be allowed to use their resources. Remember trees are a renewable resource. If a country wants to sustain a healthy economy, they’ll learn quickly that they must replace what they’ve used that is stimulating their economy. Shoot, we can even teach them this if they don’t seem to know it already. But don’t insist they stop doing something just because you don’t like what they are doing. It’s like banning smoking in bars, without asking the establishment owners and customers how they would respond to it. (Inhibit capitalism).

Thanks for saving the world Harrison Ford, one chest hair at a time. I’m going to go save a forest now and wax my chest! Join with me all you tree lovers out there.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Lola's Corner

Welcome back to my corner ladies and gentlemen. I hope you find me worthy of your time yet again. I'm cute enough so how can you not want to give me some of your time?

So funny story...So I was playing in the pampas grass or however you spell it and I made myself a little platform up there with my repetitive jumping. By the time I was finished with it, I could have jumped the fence if I wanted to. Here's the funny part, my parents let me get away with it long enough to get some pictures, and after that I got in trouble for jumping up there. Ha ha ha, big, fat, buzz-kill, jerks!!! I'll get them back some day when they least expect it.

So I have a few more friends to introduce you to. This week is going to be about my cousins and my cousins once or twice removed however that works.

These are my cousins Timmy and Honey. They live a couple of hours away from me here in Texas up close to Ft. Worth. I haven't met them but I hope they are feisty enough to go a few rounds with me when I do meet them.

This is My 1st cousin once or twice removed or maybe that makes him my 2nd cousin, but his name is Buster. He was a puppy mill rescue and I hear he's just and sweet as can be. I have a special Christmas picture of Buster with Santa, but I'll share it with you as we get closer to Christmas.

This is Buster with his new sister Aspen. She moved in as a foster and decided to keep Buster as a brother. She's deaf, but her new mom said she's already learned several signs and is very smart. I bet we'd have a good ol' time playing together, but they live in Nebraska so we'll have to talk our parents into taking us on road trips if we are to meet. Check out the South Dakota Boxer Rescue link that Buster and Aspen sent under the Links section over on the side to see more sweet, lovable boxers up north.

Well that's it for this addition, I have to get back to rolling in the grass since my mom just put some stuff on me to repel fleas. I just want to make sure it works.
Remember you can send pictures of your non-human kids to me at Thank you to everyone that has sent me pictures. As I am getting more and more now, don't get mad if I don't get to yours right away.
Until next time chew toy days and june bug dreams.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Get Paid for Your Passion…What a Load of CRAP!!!

How many of you were fed the fairytale line in high school and college time and time again that you should find what you’re passionate about and get paid for it? I know I heard it time and time again. But they don’t tell you want to do if your passion doesn’t pay so well, or if you don’t have one. Does that make me an underachiever if I’m passionless? What if I’m passionate about sex? Does that mean I should become a lady of the evening? I’ll answer that for you with a big fat NO!!! Does that mean all prostitutes and strippers are living out their dream? Maybe they are.

I never had the dream as a kid of wanting to be a fire fighter or policeman. I settled on wanting to be a doctor once until my older brother savagely ripped that dream away from me by starting pre-med in college with the intentions of being the same kind of doctor I had wanted to be. Well I couldn’t be a copycat, so I let that go. Don’t worry; he wimped out and changed his major after 3 semesters and well he’s still working more hours than me. So now neither of us is a really, really successful and wealthy doctor. I showed him.

I was more passionate about not doing certain things such as teaching or nursing or being in school for a long time. While teaching and nursing are both very respectable careers, people don’t seem to understand the words I speak, and the thought of putting up with whiny kids and their parents all day makes me shudder. Kudos to those who tolerate that. Then there are the cranky, demanding patients, sponge baths, and worse for nursing, which are not my idea of good times. Never mind the fact that I could have gone into a cool specialty like surgery. You have to do the bad stuff in school and didn’t want to hate school more than necessary.

I’ve always enjoyed entertaining people and making them laugh. I have always felt most fulfilled when I made some one or a group of people laugh. Even if I think what I said was stupid. Sometimes stupid is funny. Just ask Adam Sandler, Will Farrell, and all the other Saturday Night Live alums. I was told a few times in my life that I should be on that show, which I take as one of, if not the highest compliment I could receive. The only two problems, I’m not one for fame and notoriety, and I’m not really that funny. I’d rather be in the background writing. I had some successful writing ventures in my day. Didn’t get paid, but I made people laugh. So you could say that was sort of a passion of mine, but English not so much. Which is why I passed on that major in college. Literature is an absolute bore to me and I don’t care what some author’s state of mind was when he wrote about ravens. WHO CARES!?!? Even when I tried to spice it up with my hilarious twists it was a drag. Did I ever mention that not going to college was NEVER an option? Which is paying off great in my state job!!!

Then there’s my love of various sports and activities: volleyball, skiing (water and snow), softball, football. I can/did do/play all of these very well, but not well enough to get paid. My parents would have had to devote their lives to my future career when I was a kid rather than worry about stupid stuff like, putting food on the table and clothes on my back. Besides I had a well-rounded childhood where I got to try lots of different things. So I wouldn’t change that. However I would love to be able to wake up every morning and go skiing for a few hours in the mountains, or hiking, fishing, and camping as the weather allows.

So you could say my passion is to be able to do all of these things and have such a schedule that allows me to go do them as I feel like it. Some people call that retirement. I’d like to be able to get there ASAP while I’m still young enough to enjoy it. I don’t want to be a slave to my job as I am now. So find something that will pay you enough up in the mountains. Trust me we think of this every year we go skiing. How can we make it work up here and afford to live there without living in a tornado magnet? (trailer/mobile home for those of you outside of tornado alley).

Then there’s my second dream or passion. I want to rescue boxers and doggies on death row. But I want to have enough land and shelter to support lots of them. Trust me, I would give them all the love and attention they need and desire. And I want to build them a doggy water park with a slip-n-slide and doggy pools and sprinklers. Nothing fancy, but enough for them to have some crazy fun in the summer. Think about it, it’s probably the cutest sight you can imagine.

I might be onto something here. If I could entertain enough people to make this blog thing successful enough to attract big time advertising, I could quit my job, buy a house in the mountains with some land, build a ginormous dog house with indoor and outdoor facilities for all the dogs I want to rescue. Obviously heated for the winter if need be. Then I could go skiing in the winter for a few hours a day in the morning with my season pass, come home play with the dogs and support this lifestyle all by hopefully entertaining you all and making you laugh once in awhile.

I’ll let you know in a year or two if you really CAN get paid for your passion ultimately supporting the other passions you might have, as I believe most normal people have several interests rather than just one passion. And I’ll let you know if what we were told all these years wasn’t just a load of crap!!

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Thank You

In Honor of Memorial Day weekend I want to say a big thank you to all the troops out there who have served or are serving and protecting our country now. And thank you to their families for the sacrifices they make as well. You are all true American Heroes.

Two years ago this weekend, we lost our little baby Bailee. She had a good long life and she was such a blessing to us. Just a few weeks ago her little brother Milo joined her. This is in loving memory of the joy they brought to many lives and the wonderful memories they have left us all with. They were loved and well cared for which is why losing them was so heart-breaking. Rest in peace Bailee and Milo. You will always be loved and missed.

Baby Bailee
Big Sister Bailee with Little Baby Brother Milo

Silly Old Bailee

Tired Old Bailee
Thank you for the love, snuggles, and joy you gave us

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Pimps and Unions; Aren’t They Really the Same?

So before I get to what I feel are the obvious similarities between Pimps and Labor Unions, I have a very important question that I know many of you have discussed or thought about and one time or another. How is it that Pimps talk themselves into a job in the first place? Do they go up to prostitutes on the street and say “I got a proposition for you. You go find work and give me 70% of your money, and I’ll beat the crap out of you when I feel like it.” Is that how the negotiation works? Because let me tell you, agents only get 10% if I’m correct, and they actually find you work. If I were that prostitute I’d slap that pimp upside the head and tell him “hell no. Why would I give you 70%, 50%, or even 10% when I can keep 100%?” That seems like the obvious response from all prostitutes to wanna-be pimps. But somehow, there’s still a profession of pimps out there. Makes no sense to me.

Now that we’ve established that Pimps will take your money and beat you senseless, let’s look at just exactly what labor unions do for people. So they tell you they that they will negotiate your salary and benefits on your behalf. But this is obviously not a free service. Rather than charging you a one-time finders fee, they charge you in the form of union dues. And this comes directly out of your pay check either every time you get paid or once a month. And correct me if I’m wrong, in most union run companies, you don’t get the opportunity to opt out of the union to handle your own negotiations. You’re either in or you’re unemployed. Correct?

Next comes the negotiations, so after they’ve been taking everyone’s money for so long they have to make it look like they are doing more than just collecting dues every month. They need to justify their existence. So they rile up the payers of the dues and convince them that they need more of this, that, or the other and if they don’t get it, it’s worth striking over. So the union leaders go to management and make generally unreasonable demands and insist on their way or the highway. This is all in spite of the fact that management is telling them they just can’t afford all of that. But the union leaders refuse to budge because they want to look like heroes in an effort to justify their existence. So they force a strike and all the dues paying workers are forced to walk the picket line, which means they are no longer earning a paycheck. Well most of these people can’t afford to go without a paycheck, but nonetheless, this is expected so strike they must.

What happens if you try to cross the picket line? Haven’t you all seen Hoffa? And isn’t that when they were actually doing the workers some good? They beat them senseless. But since they probably have media outlets and the cops on the payroll, it’s not a big story. The only story is that they are on strike and management is being unreasonable and the union won’t budge because it is only “fair.” I tell you this, is it fair for them to take your money and then force you to not take a paycheck for a while? Is it fair for them to bitch-slap you if you disagree with them?

So then they go back to the negotiating table after a few days, weeks, or months and concede some of their demands but miraculously strike a deal with management and they are heroes, who by the way weren’t technically on strike since they were working for the strikers. So their incomes didn’t take a hit. Had you not paid them one bit of dues and not gone without a check while on strike, you’d probably be better off financially than you are with their “help.”

So let’s sum up the comparison between the two:

  • Take money from the hard working Prostitutes
  • Force Prostitutes to do as they say
  • Beat them if they try to run away
  • Provide nothing of value for Prostitutes


  • Take money from the workers actually doing the work for the company
  • Force union workers to follow union rules
  • Beat workers who dare cross the picket line
  • Provide nothing of value for workers

I think I’ve made my point.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Lola's Corner

So as you can tell I'm a very very tired puppy. It's because I run around the yard like a maniac and try to climb the pompous grass by the fence and try to eat water coming out of the hose. I hope I don't offend any of you by my lack of lady-like manners. I think I take after my mom a little bit. Oh well. I think she's really awesome. So I'll own my undignified sleeping habits. Besides it feels good and who doesn't want to sprawl out every once in awhile?

So today in honor of the new friends I'm making, I'm going to share some of their photos with you and introduce them to you. Remember to send me pictures of your pets to because I would love to make new friends and introduce them to everyone. Remember no humans as I don't want to have to chase down any
would-be stalkers and bite them.

This is Riley. She's a rescue German Shepherd found outside of Pet Co or Pet Smart at one of their adoption clinics. I hope to meet her in real life some day soon at the dog park since she lives so close to me. She has 2 sisters, Maddie and Hopper, but her mommy is clearly stating her favoritism of Riley as that's the only picture she sent me. Even though we all know that's just not possible to have a favorite child or to show favoritism to one child. And even if that were, the kids couldn't possibly be intuitive to the favoritism as long as the parent vehemently denies it. Riley, tell your mom to send pictures of your sisters too next time.

This is Mr. Pickles. He's a big gray cat. My mom tells me he looks a lot like her cat Smokey, may he rest in peace, after 19 long years. As you might be able to tell, Mr. Pickles has aspirations of being a Train Engineer when he grows up. Or maybe he just wants to knock the train off the tracks when it comes by. That's what I would want to do. I would very much like to play with Mr. Pickles, but I think he might find me to be in need of some Benedryl, Tylenol pm, or some other pill that might severely calm me down so as not to be such a pest. Mr. Pickles I still love you and I hope you'll send me more pictures as I hear you have some funny poses too.

Well that's it for this week. I've got to finish catching up on my beauty sleep so that I'll be ready for the dog park this weekend. I hope to leap frog a few dogs, or I'd kind of like to challenge that crazy Boston Terrier to a rematch. I thought I had her, but I found out I've got some training to do. Hence the climbing of the pompous grass in the back yard. Have a great week and I'll see you next week. Same time, same place.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Dedicated to Everyone Turning 30

I’m turning 30 tomorrow, and by the time many of you read this, tomorrow will already be here. Believe it or not, I’m looking forward to it. I’m not throwing a fit, proclaiming to the world “woe is me, my life is over, the end has come!!” You see I think the 30s are going to be great! And in honor of my birthday and all of you who have recently turned 30 or who will be turning 30 over the next year, I’m going to share my reasons for being so optimistic, some of which I’ve heard from friends, family, and colleagues.

Wisdom. I don’t think of 30 as being OLD, just being more experienced and hopefully a little wiser than I was 10 years ago. I feel survival of many of my varied experiences have helped me learn to make better decisions and weigh the possible results of my actions.

Perspective. Wisdom leads me to a better perspective than I had 10 years ago. I’m grateful to be alive and grateful to be healthy and surrounded by such wonderful family and friends. I feel very blessed in spite of some of the horrible things or situations I’ve witnessed or been apart of. They’ve all made me who I am today, and I hope that isn’t someone who’s so self-involved that I miss out on what’s important in life. 10 years ago I’m sure I was.

Productivity. The 30s are going to be a productive decade. This is because I waste less time now on stupidity and spend more time enjoying life, educating myself, and listening to the insight of others. And less time being bitter and self involved. Although I do watch a lot of TV still. But I’m convinced that has more to do with not having kids.

Knowledge. I’m learning more everyday, which may sound a little redundant, but wisdom and knowledge have two different meanings. I’ve always thought a day was productive if I’ve learned something new. Sometimes that’s a new skill at work like yesterday when I finally mastered vlookup in Excel rather than wasting my time with lookup. Who knew they were different and well that lookup was unnecessary if vlookup can still do what you want? Sometimes it’s just taking some time out of my day to read the paper or watch the news to find out what’s going on in our world. Sometimes it’s reading a book and since I can’t read novels, it’s usually some kind of book that educates me on a specific subject ideology, or perspective. I plan to keep learning and stockpiling that knew knowledge. Maybe I’ll stop when I’m much much older. Like 40. Just kidding my parents don’t seem old to me and they are twice my age or pushing it.

Stability. The older I get, the more stable I get. This comes in the form of marriage to a wonderful man, increasingly better jobs, and well let’s face it, working for the government. It’s pretty stable these days and really hard to screw up. Although it shouldn’t be that hard.

Respect. I’ve heard and am hopeful that I will get more respect in the work place in the 30s. There’s something about the 20s that I believe people judge as immature and inexperienced. Which may be true in some cases, but I believe unfairly judged in others. All you ever want in your 20s is for someone to take a chance on you, and unless you’re already set up with a dynamite connection or you magically find that person willing to take that chance on you, it seems hopeless.

Beauty. I think women are generally more beautiful in their 30s than in their 20s. Maybe it’s because they mature on the inside, which makes them overall more attractive. Maybe it has something to do with surviving the 20s that gives them a glow of courage and strength. Whatever it is, I plan to join the beautiful 30 something club.

And Finally….Slurppee kisses from the puppy. Need I say more?

And those are the reasons why I’m looking forward to the big 3-0.

And now….

Reasons I Know I’m Getting Older

1. More bills to pay than ever before in my life.
2. I’m obsessed with my skin imperfections, only now it’s discoloration more than zits.
3. I’m more opinionated now than ever. I just know if I should keep my opinions to myself in a face-to-face conversation better now.
4. McDonalds repulses me now more than ever. Although Taco Bell doesn’t, so that may have more to say about my preference than age.
5. I’m more obsessed with eating healthy and making up for the unhealthy times.
6. More gray hair than 11 years ago when the first one was horrifically discovered.
7. More Responsibility.
8. Getting the “when are you going to have kids” question more often, presumably because there must be a misconception that you MUST feel your biological clock ticking since you are now 30, and that women are infertile after 30. I guess I should tell that to all the women having healthy babies well into their 30s.
9. More creaking and sore bones and joints when I get out of bed.
10. Finally, this crazy obsession with fiber and getting enough of it and finding the most efficient yet tasty delivery method. Fiber One is great. And the powder in the bottle that you can add to your food did not work out so great for me.

Monday, May 19, 2008

I Stand Corrected

So not being born and raised in Texas, I used to scoff and mock the people plopping their kids down in the middle of some Bluebonnets off the side of some random road, or highway, just to get a picture of their kids or family amongst the state flower. Or at least that's what I thought it was about. And many of them take the same picture year after year, which I just didn't get. Until now!!! Look at that picture. With the exception of the leash it's the most perfect picture I have ever taken. And I must admit I saw the spot before I had the camera with me and declared, we must bring Lola back here to get a picture. It turned out better than I imagined. I will never ever again mock or scoff at those who drag their kids out to get a picture with the Bluebonnets ever again. Because even though Lola isn't in Bluebonnets, your kids in the wildflowers is about as good a picture as anyone can get. So snap on my friends, and take the time to make a memory with your pets, kids, and families. You'll be glad you did.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

What Would You Do If you were President?

So I was watching Lifetime this weekend, (I know, I’m embarrassed, but it’s another discussion for another day) and they are now showing this ad where they are asking women what they’d do if they were President. Naturally I’m writing this because one of the responses riled me up so much that I felt it justified a rant. I realize this may be an area were many may disagree with me, and I may come across as cruel, heartless and uncompassionate, but we may just have to agree to disagree because I won’t apologize for my opinion.

The camera flashes to a woman who looks to be a well put together “career woman.” And what do you think she says? It is something along the lines of, ‘I want affordable daycare for all the working mothers…’ Excuse Me????? You chose to have a child and now you want ME and the many other hardworking taxpayers to pay for you to DUMP your child on someone else to raise, so YOU can have a career? Why would you choose to have a child then? Because let’s be honest, no one can raise your child better than you can right?

I understand that there are unforeseen tragedies that happen that mandate a woman return to work after having a child, but this woman wasn’t talking about those situations. She was talking about your average everyday women like me who have a stable family life and if we wanted to, could budget one income to support the family or find alternatives to help supplement the family income without sacrificing the care of a child to some stranger. And I’ve seen many women work it out if it is necessary for them arrange for alternative care for a short amount of time. And I’ve seen families come together to be supportive in those times of need and to chip in and help when possible.

I’m furious because you want the choice to have kids, but then you still want the government, meaning all the taxpayers, to subsidize your daycare now? Why? What good can come of that? Abandoned children and higher taxes, that’s a brilliant plan for your child’s future? Again I ask, where is my choice in the matter? I didn’t get a choice for you to have a kid. And if I had, I certainly wouldn’t have let you have one if you planned on the taxpayers dollars paying for its daycare, health care, and anything else you can come up with. Those things are your responsibility? It is your responsibility to feed, clothe, and care for your child. But increasingly, this nation has become a nation shirking personal responsibility in favor of passing it along to the government. This is so they have someone else to blame but themselves if things go wrong.

If you want to dump your kid in daycare, that is your choice, but don’t ask me to pay for it. It’s ridiculous, appalling, and irresponsible. What is this world coming to?

Thursday, May 15, 2008

The Hollywood Writer’s Strike – What a Bunch of Lazy Ingrates

Ok, now I know I’m not the only one ticked off by having to endure a television season full of bad reality TV or reruns after anticipating the start of the new season. Why couldn’t they strike after they’d finished the season? Would that have been so difficult for them? They’re off anyways, and we the viewers wouldn’t have noticed or cared. But as it is I’m ticked off at them. They didn’t stick it to the networks, because they still ran shows and sold advertising. They stuck it to us, the hard working average Americans, who just want to sit down and enjoy our favorite shows after a long day at work.

I hope it backfires on them. And here’s my theory on that. You see all the new shows that came out for a minute and then went on strike; we all already forgot what they were called and who was in them. The same goes for the shows that were new the second half of the season last year. Can’t remember if I liked them or not. I didn’t get a chance to find out if I even cared to like them. Way to go writers of those shows. I bet this was your big break wasn’t it? And look where it got you. Probably broke and back at your job waiting tables or whatever it is you do to make a living. Was it worth it? I understand wanting to get paid but isn’t that why people negotiate producing credits as well? Come on use your head! Don’t pay a union to open their big fat mouths on your behalf. Isn’t that what an agent is for?

I say be a scab. Cross that picket line and do your job like the rest of us. Break the unions and quit paying dues to them. You’ll probably find out that you can make more money without their “help.” How did they help you while you were on strike and your show got cancelled? Did they get you a new job on a hit show like The Office, Lost, CSI, or the Law and Order franchise? No? What??? GOOD!!! They took your money and let the door hit you on your way out. I hope you learned your lesson, because a partial season was just not good enough for you or us. I for one would have been happy to be a scab writer. I bet I could have written something better than nothing, which is what you all wrote?

So to sum it up; don’t let it happen again or we just might go on strike from watching TV altogether. I’m prepared to do that. Even if I’m alone in that effort. One person CAN make a difference. Right?

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Lola's Corner - Why Dogs Eat June Bugs, Poo, and Other Disgusting Things

So I’m 4 ½ months old now and I’ve discovered the joys of puppy-hood. I get to learn about the wonderful things, this brand new world to me, has to offer. About a month ago, I found out that when I went outside at night there tons of these bugs flying, sitting, walking, and mating all over the place. Mom and dad call them June bugs. I called them a formal challenge. For every time I went outside they flew around my face “daring” me to catch them. I’ll tell you what, those suckers sure are slow. Or maybe I’m just the quickest pup in the south. I caught every one that flew around my head and chased many others jumping and leaping with glee. They are just a mouthful of crunchy goodness. Kind of like how you humans enjoy the fresh crunch of a bowl of cereal.

Mom and dad discovered the sweetness of my June bug habit in the form of June bug poo. Apparently we only digest the innards of them, which makes for funny poo. Which brings me to my next point. Poo. It’s just funny. How can you not play with it? We get tired of the same ol’ toys and eating grass and leaves. Playing with and eating our poo spices things up. Plus we get a super cool reaction from you humans. If I had a milk bone for every time mom and dad chased me around the yard trying to get the poo, or whatever random thing I’ve found, out of my mouth, I’d get several more a day than I normally get. It’s not so much about eating the poo as it is engaging you in a game of “catch me if you can.” And we know the more horrendous the item in our mouth, the more likely we are to get you to play until we’re done. Besides if we swallow it, it’s just going to come right back out again. No harm no foul. Well except for foul breath. But we like the taste of doggy toothpaste and so if it prompts you to try and brush our teeth, BONUS!!! We get to eat the toothpaste. The more the better.

So to sum it up what you should have learned from this
1. June Bugs are a challenge!
2. June Bugs are crunchy!
3. Poo is just funny! Don’t try to deny it.
4. Catch me if you can is the world’s greatest game!
5. Doggy toothpaste rocks!

Don't forget you can send me pictures of your furry little friends to to share with all.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Mandatory Birth Control…What a Concept!!

How many times have you been shopping in a store or eating in a restaurant and you see these kids running helter skelter, screaming all over the place like maniacs? It makes you want to pull your hair out right? How many times have you felt like going over to their parents and violently shaking them for not doing anything about it? But kept the fantasy in your head to avoid assault and battery charges or worse. I’m not talking about the parents that take their kids to the bathroom for a good spanking or whisper halitosis threats into their ear. I’m talking about the parents that ignore their kids’ bad behavior as if they don’t exists or if that’s normal/ok kid behavior. After all “they are just kids.”

Have you ever worked in a checkout line or stood in line at the grocery store behind someone on food stamps that is not only getting the bare necessities, but somehow affording also to load up on junk food and cigarettes as well? Not to mention they are rude to you or someone around you. Or are you sick of hearing the stories on the news of a woman barely of adult status delivering a 5th or 6th kid, all of whom are on Medicaid, and how happy she is to having another baby? Does it piss you off that you are footing the bill for these people that are abusing what was originally intended to be temporary help from the government? Again, I’m not talking about the people that are receiving temporary help and are working to better their lives. I’m talking about the perpetual offenders that are just poor enough to live off the government but have their priorities so straight that they can afford, satellite TV, alcohol, and cigarettes. At least we’re getting some tax dollars back from them in the form of the “sin taxable items.”

The concept for mandatory birth control was developed by a friend (who shall remain nameless unless she chooses to identify herself in the comments) and myself probably about 15 years ago now back in high school. I’m sure it was a class where we were bored and could be spotted counting ceiling tiles on any given day. The discussion had to do with how high school and college girls always seem to get knocked up when they are drunk. This may mean that alcohol increases fertility if you haven’t tried it yet. Since you don’t want babies being born to young, unprepared, un-wed mothers, this led us to the conclusion of putting birth control in alcohol. That way poor judgment could be rendered useless, and the innocent children, that get dragged into these situations rather than responsibly adopted out to capable and responsible families, would be protected from their would-be mothers.

Brilliant idea huh?!?!?

Forget the fact that it seems Marxist or Communistic or whatever category of bad political philosophy that you don’t want any part of. If you can overlook that one tiny problem, it’s a genius solution to a growing problem.

Of course over the years I’ve tried to improve upon the plan to add it to the water supply whereby, I will be the keeper of the antidote. Or at least I get to be in charge of who gets the temporary antidote. Prospective parents would of course have to pass a test, each time they want a new child, and prove to be able to support a child of their own means. They also have to have had no government assistance claims in the last 5 years. If they currently have a child, they have to show proof that they are respectable, responsible parents who are raising their current child or children to be respectable and responsible citizens.

The test would include questions like: “True or false, it’s ok for your child to play one parent against the other?” And for the sake of establishing consistency, “You child asks you if they can go to a party Saturday night, what’s your response?"
a) Of course dear. Do you need me to get the booze for you?
b) Yes, just don’t bring home any STDs.
c) Did you ask your mother/father?

Other questions would include simple geography and social studies questions like “how many states are there in the U.S.?” and “Can you name the current president and vice president of the U.S.?” and “How much do you pay in taxes?” Anyone responding incorrectly to these questions will have to reapply to have a child at a later date until they can prove themselves a wee bit more intelligent than that.

Seems like a relatively simple test right? Oh that my dream could become reality.

Anyways so there it is. I’m certain you will all agree while genius, it’s probably too good to be true. And of course it goes against my philosophy of freedom of choice, but anyone living off the government has taken away my freedom of choice not to support his or her irresponsibility. So I’m willing to compromise this one particular choice in the name of making the world a better place.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Who Wouldn't Want to Live Here?

This is the view from the top of the mountain we go skiing at. It's so beautiful, but that was stating the obvious. Some day we hope to be able to live there so we can go skiing as often as we'd like. So until we can do that we'll just have to dream big and go back as often as we can. And hopefully not kill ourselves by running into a tree or other skiers or by flying off the side of the mountain.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

What’s Wrong With Our Education System?

So education in this country is constantly criticized as being less than stellar compared with many other countries around the world. And what I find amusing is that the solution is always to throw good money after bad. That will fix it. Never mind the fact that we pay property taxes and don’t have kids attending public school so it increases the amount they get per kid due to the many just like us. But if we did have kids, we wouldn’t get that money we pay to send them to public school tied to our kids so they could attend a school of my choosing. We’re stuck sending them to the public school of the district we live in, or we can pay money on top of our property taxes to send them to private school. And since that school gets our money regardless of whether or not they educate our kids, they don’t have to compete for our money. They don’t have to be better than the private school we might want to send our kids to. They don’t have to be better than another public school in another district. They don’t have to compete for our money because they get it whether we want them to or not. Even if we move to a new district, someone else will buy or rent our house and the property taxes will still be paid that support the school.

Free market competition isn’t a factor because the government is in charge and has monopolized the system. I understand collecting taxes to provide an education for our children. But it has become sub par, and many people are helpless to do anything about it. Or at least they feel that way. Surely by now most of you have heard of the concept of school vouchers, your tax dollars follow your kid. Some people demonize the concept. They are called teachers’ unions and those sucked into the beliefs of these lazy teachers that don’t think performance standards should be higher than the effort they are willing to put out. And for those teachers who do put out the extra effort, they often go unappreciated, undervalued, and underpaid because of the design of the system.

Just think if schools had to compete with each other what could happen. Bad schools would close. Good schools would grow. Good teachers would be rewarded and likely with higher salaries, as schools would compete for them. Think of the higher education system where they do compete with other schools and in some cases compete for exceptional teachers. My MBA program is a great example as I spent almost a year in Italy. It was a condensed program and I finished in about a year and I got to add the element of world travel and how it relates to business. The bonus I didn’t know about is that we had some of the most awesome, highly sought after professors from all over the US come teach our classes. I chose this program because I hate classroom settings so much that I wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible and I’ve always wanted to go to Italy, and my degree is from a university in the US. Administrators, who want to keep their jobs, would look for ways to attract parents and therefore new students to their schools. This could likely result in many alternative methods to education and I like to think more enthusiastic students.

Let’s explore a method I would be very much in support of. I somehow made it through high school and college without much studying. That’s not to say I didn’t learn anything, but it wasn’t my forte and I was bored with the traditional classroom setting. I would have much preferred hands on experience, which some schools offer with shop classes and wood working classes. What if you had a school that helped you find a vocation to work towards while you were still in high school? Where you actually got hands on experience in various professions. For example, if you thought you might be interested in being a lawyer, you’d have the opportunity to work with a lawyer for a few weeks or months, helping him, attending depositions, or court cases or other various meetings. Maybe after some time you’d figure out that you didn’t want to be a lawyer, but if all goes right, you would have developed some valuable skills that might contribute to another job. And you would have weeded a profession out which might help you weed out others due to the things you didn’t like about it.

I like to think of this as some kind of apprenticeship. Because let’s be honest, unless we are doctors and maybe a few other professions I can’t think of right now, how many of us are really doing what we went to school for? My degree is so generic (business management) that I work with people with psychology degrees, accounting degrees, and probably no degrees at all. Meaning most of us learned our job by doing it. The longer we were there, the more we learned. I didn’t need to waste my money going to college to do what I’m doing, but the job description says I need one. Or lots of experience doing exactly what it is I’m doing.

I’m not saying an education isn’t necessary or valuable. I just think people stimulated to learn in very different ways. And I think there are more nontraditional ways to go about getting an education that might benefit many people who drop out of traditional educational settings. And I think our kids deserve a choice so that they don’t graduate high school like I did and say, “hmmm I have no clue what I want to do with my life, I just know I’m supposed to go to college, even if I have no clue what to study.” I just picked business because I hate literature so English was out, I didn’t want to go to medical school, or be a nurse or a teacher, and I figured a generic degree was at least a degree. When it’s possible I could have been successful without a degree at all.

So here’s to improving our educational system, not by throwing good money after bad, but by putting the choice back into it and letting the bad ones fail and the good ones excel.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Why I Love The Office; And Why You Should Too!!

Now I don’t know how many of you watch The Office as religiously as we do, but I’m convinced there’s something in there for everyone to identify with as long as they’ve been apart of a group in the working world at some point in their life. It very accurately depicts work life amongst a group of widely different personalities and work ethics. Most people watching probably can’t figure out which one is most like them but they can pinpoint who they work with that fits the profile of a particular character or combination of characters. This is because it calls attention to the flaws of everyone and none of us have flaws that we know of right??? At least not when we’re at work. It’s all the people that we work with that are crazy or have peculiar habits or aspects of their personalities that either grate at our nerves or make us feel superior to them in some way, shape or form.

For example I’d say I’m like Jim at least his sense of humor. But I don’t play childish pranks on my coworkers. Although sometimes I fantasize about it. And when I was a kid, I wasn’t opposed to playing a good prank now and then. I even orchestrated one or two in my day. But mostly the various crazy co-workers I’ve had over my working years have done a good job of humiliating themselves without my help. So maintain self-control for the sake of being a good worker bee in the hopes of moving up is what I’ve always resorted to. I’m sure my coworkers could probably identify me with one of the not as cool characters like Phyllis or Dwight. But I’m not the one in the office constantly kissing the ass of my boss, so I would argue against being Dwight.

Anyways so I will call attention to my biggest peeve in the office that the show so beautifully depicted. Parties, birthdays and miscellaneous. So Angela is obviously the party planner. I’ve worked with people that waste so much time planning parties that you’d think it’s their full-time job. I know I’m not the only one who gets riled up at this. It’s so non-productive to spend a day and a half decorating or getting decorations ready, or shopping for decorations, or even having a meeting to talk about decorations. Don’t get me started on asking for contributions to pay for these decorations that we’ll turn into a “gift”. Tell you what just, skip the party for me, and don’t bother. I don’t want your stupid decorations as a gift anyway. I didn’t even want the stupid party to begin with. I would say the thought was nice but really it was selfish on your part. YOU wanted to waste time. YOU wanted to make yourself look good. YOU wanted to find anything to do but actual work that you are now over-paid to do in my book.

Of course there’s the other side to parties. Wanting them to happen in your honor so badly that you will go out of your way to make all the arrangements. I love how The Office depicted this dilemma of having individual parties or combining them. Luckily I now work in a group that is so large that they do a monthly celebration and if our individual sub-groups feel like doing something they can. I work in the low-key lunch only group. Anyways the mass group celebrations went from a potluck style competition to see who could bring the best store bought food, to cake and ice cream only. Thank God for that!!! But you’re condemned to the depths of hell if you mistakenly think that you can combine 2 celebrations into one if one of those is for a holiday like…oh say…Thanksgiving and the other is for a birthday. Simple solution. Don’t designate both celebrations on the same day if you’re going to gripe that no one did anything for your birthday. Well no we didn’t do anything extra because we brought dessert for the Thanksgiving feast. You now also expect us to have cake and ice cream again an hour or two later!?!?!? REALLY?? Is it necessary to stuff our faces twice in one day??? Ah now I see the difference between fit people and not so fit people. It’s called portion control!!!! And don’t comment on how much ice cream I’m eating!!! Because I know I will run, walk, dance, play, or whatever it off when I get home. You, I’m pretty sure you won’t. So keep your comments to yourself because I hold my tongue.

Finally let’s not forget that The Office also covers the high-strung employee with inappropriate, often rude, comments at inappropriate times, as well as the creepy guy or girl in the office. We all have at least one or both of these people as a coworker. At least at some point in our life. And those people aren’t always in our department. But often they are. They are rude in the name of “that’s the way I am,” or they are creepy in the name of naivety. Hmmm….should those really go unchecked? Well maybe it does go checked in the form of being non-promotable. It’s so difficult to know when and what’s appropriate to be a whistle-blower/complainer on.

So there it is boys and girls. Watch The Office. You will come to like even the most hated characters because you can identify them in a real live person you know.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Lola's Corner - Dedicated to your pets

Hello everyone, My name is Lola (in case you haven't figured that out) and since my mom knows I'm a working dog, she assigned me to do a weekly column dedicated to your furry friends. Secretly I think it's because she's lazy and has decided to outsource part of her blog to someone much cuter and feistier than she is. I like the dog park, eating random junk I find in the yard, and making my parents chase me like idiots all around the yard.

The purpose of this column will be to share tips and tricks and cute pictures of all your furry and/or winged friends with everyone. I will also review various products that I have tried or currently use for your benefit, should you be looking for advice on a that particular item or category of item.

For this week my tip will be on finding out which plants in your yard may be poisonous. This link will take you to the ASPCA poison control center. Half way down the page is a series of links for toxic and non-toxic plants. There is also other useful information with regards to poison control for your pets.

The reason this is so important is because our neighbors decided to poison me before I was even born by planting a Chinaberry tree I think. Anyways it has berries that grow on it. They fall to the grown on my side of the fence, and well me being a mischievous little puppy that likes to eat everything in site, well I was eating them. My mommy and daddy were bad parents for not finding this out ahead of time, although they would try to take them out of my mouth if they caught me with them. But I would run as fast as I could all over the yard so they couldn't catch me. They looked really silly chasing after me. By the time I let them catch me, I had done the deed and swallowed the berries. Luckily these berries are only toxic in large portions and all I got was runny poo. Now they pick up any berries that fall on our side and throw them over the gate so that I can't eat them.

I have an email address all to myself. I'd like to invite you to send me pictures of your beloved cats, dogs, birds, fish, or whatever member of the family that is not of the human persuasion. Email them to me at Please don't send me pictures that include children or other humans in them as this is an open and searchable blog and I don't want to be responsible for unwanted stalkers or have to go bite anyone. Please send me the name of your pet as well and from time to time I will post fun pictures of your pets.

In case you're wondering why Lolafrog, this is why.

Well and I bounce a lot. I look forward to hearing from you all and bringing you as much enjoyment as I bring my mom and dad.

Slurpy Kisses,


Monday, May 5, 2008

Econ 101 - Taxes

Whatever happened to personal responsibility? When did people start being raised with the attitude that the government will take care of them if hard times come? When did this attitude become acceptable? Whatever happened to hard work and perseverance leading to pride in oneself? Don’t you want to continually better yourself and your family? Doesn’t that generally come from hard work? I realize that good contacts help but sometimes innovation gets you farther than fancy contacts. I know from personal experience.

Why is it that people don’t ask the one fundamental question when politicians start promising them the fairytale for free? That question you ask. “Since nothing is free, how do you plan to pay for it?” Well with taxing the rich. Sounds great because surely you’re not classified as rich. Well let’s think through this logically because remember this one fundamental truth; if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is too good to be true. Back to taxing the rich;

Who is classified as rich? Possible answers; leaders of “big business”, trust fund babies, venture capitalists, celebrities. That about covers the gamut right?
How many of these people get regular monthly salaries? Because remember to pay income tax, you must earn income. Answer; CEOs, but lets not forget much of their salary package is tied up in company stocks– and to stretch, celebrities however not necessarily regular in all cases.
How does the federal government get taxes on the rest of that group whose money is tied up in investments? Answer; Every time they realize a capital gain.

So then the tax happy politician’s strategy is two fold. First he’s going to crank up the capital gains tax to cover that group. Second he’s going to go ahead and crank up the top tier of income earners because after all they won’t miss it. They don’t really need to take home that much money to survive. The next set of questions you should be asking yourself are;

What right is it of prince politician to determine how much money a rich person needs if he earned it fair and square? Answer; It should be that they have no right.
How much does one have to make to be classified in the top tier of income earners? Answer; $349,700 and up for married couples and single filers in 2007
Will the increased capital gains taxes discourage people from realizing their capital gains? Answer; Yes as soon as they know this is about to happen they will either liquefy enough assets to whether the tax storm or move assets offshore if they aren’t already there.
Will this cause a problem to the planned federal income level needed to sustain my fairytale? Answer; Big time
What will my prince of a politician do about this?; Spread the tax burden to the next several tiers of income earners.
How much do you have to make to be classified in these tiers? Answer; Tier 2: $195,850-$349,700 married filing and $160,850-$349,700 for single filers. Tier 3: $128,500-$195,850 married filing and $77,100-$160,850 for single filers. And because raising taxes on tiers 1-3 still won’t be quite enough to cover your fairytale, let me go ahead and give you the next 2 tiers. Tier 4: $63,700-$128,500 married filing and $31,850-77,100 for single filers. Tier 5: $15,650-$63,700 married filing and $7,825-$31,850 for single filers. The next tier goes down to $0 for both.

So most of us with personal responsibility probably fall in tiers 3-5. The more you make, the more you pay. Actually many of those without personal responsibility fall in those tiers as well but due to loopholes and irresponsibility they are somehow still able to qualify for government assistance programs or at the very least not pay much or any taxes and they make more than you or I do.

Next set of questions you should be asking yourself;
Do I really want to pay for someone’s irresponsibility? Answer; if your answer is yes then may I suggest you write a check of your own free will to the IRS and mark it donation for any wasteful program that perpetuates irresponsibility. If you’re like me, your answer is not just no but HECK NO!!
Does that make me a bad person? Answer- that depends, If you’re like me, you understand that people fall on hard times and there is a time and a place for temporary assistance. But that is best left to the non-profit organizations like churches and hopefully very low overhead charities to handle. And it is for me to decide what or how much I want to give not the government. And I do feel a duty to give to these organizations so in that case no, that doesn’t make one a bad person. Although just because you choose not to give, it doesn’t make you a bad person either. Maybe just selfish. But we are all selfish in one way or another.
Is the fairytale just away to take power out of my hands and give it to the government? Answer; Darn tootin it is!!!! Now you’re starting to get the hang of this.
Don’t I need my money to pay my bills, buy a house, feed my family, and save for my future thereby teaching my kids to take personal responsibility for themselves? Answer; of course you do. And the more taxes you have to pay the less you have to perpetuate personal responsibility.
Do I really want to vote for this politician who is trying to buy my vote and the votes of others with MY money? You have to answer that for yourself.

Let the voter be ware. When a politician promises to raise corporate taxes to “stick it to ‘big business,’” corporations aren’t capable of “paying taxes.” Corporations are merely an infrastructure that provides a means of paying workers, providing goods and services, and collecting taxes from the sale of goods and services, and income tax and transferring them to the IRS. I may have left out a few things but the point is a corporation is driven by it’s workers and its customers. These are real people and these real people are who are paying the taxes. If the corporate tax level is increased, that gets passed on to the consumers with higher prices or to the workers with lower wages. How is that good for the people? How is less money in the hands of real people good for the economy? What are the consequences of raising corporate taxes? Business will look for other countries which will offer them lower tax rates. This in turn takes jobs away from Americans sending the unemployment rate up and taking money out of the U.S. economy and putting it somewhere else. And the government doesn't raise as much tax revenue as they'd planned, so they again raise the taxes of the individuals. Make sure you understand what that politician is promising you, me, and your family and friends.

Just remember a politician can’t offer anything for free. They are trying to buy people’s votes with your money. You have to decide what programs you think are worth paying for out of YOUR pocket and what aren’t and find a candidate who most closely agrees with you.

Friday, May 2, 2008

Andrea and Dylan Kiss?!?! Who's bright idea was that?

So I was inspired to write this as I was watching reruns of 90210 yesterday. Back in the day when it was on I’m pretty sure I was in denial about even watching the show or liking it. I know I caught a lot of the show in reruns while they were still making new episodes. Now I know that everything that happens in the show is just ridiculous to begin with and rarely if ever applied to any of us. But this one particular thing I can’t let go because it is so outlandishly ridiculous that I can’t believe it was written this way and made it through editing.

So Andrea leaves the show after she gets knocked up and married on the show (which is a whole other ridiculous story line that I won't get into here). And in her big emotional good-bye to the gang, she kisses each of the guys on the lips. I can’t remember if she kissed the girls on the lips because I was hung up on the fact that she was kissing Dylan, David, and Steve on the lips when in reality her only real association and reason to be on the show was Brandon. The friendships with the girls were added gratuitously to give her further reason to be on it. I’m not sure that she even talked to Dylan before the last season or two other than in the midst of “the gang.” The closest they ever got was probably taking this promo photo. They struggled the last few seasons to even give her a relevant association with Dylan by having them study together or having him “save her marriage”….HOGWASH I tell you…you don’t kiss that guy on the lips good-bye…Who does that???? Really??? At best he gets a hug. And in reality that's all he's willing to give. REALLY?? Lip to lip contact between Dylan and Andrea?? Think about it.

I had many guy friends in my college and post college years that came and went out of my life. I never ONCE got a kiss on the lips good-bye. And I’ll tell you why. Because it's just weird and creepy.

And doing that in front of your husband or your friend’s girlfriend. Can we say awkward? You just might have started two fights unnecessarily. I mean the South American or European kiss on the cheek would have been much less offensive to me and more believable.
Even though I know television shows aren’t always realistic and usually fantasy based, that was just taking it way overboard. So that’s my peace on how ridiculous Andrea’s exit was.