Mandatory Birth Control…What a Concept!!

How many times have you been shopping in a store or eating in a restaurant and you see these kids running helter skelter, screaming all over the place like maniacs? It makes you want to pull your hair out right? How many times have you felt like going over to their parents and violently shaking them for not doing anything about it? But kept the fantasy in your head to avoid assault and battery charges or worse. I’m not talking about the parents that take their kids to the bathroom for a good spanking or whisper halitosis threats into their ear. I’m talking about the parents that ignore their kids’ bad behavior as if they don’t exists or if that’s normal/ok kid behavior. After all “they are just kids.”

Have you ever worked in a checkout line or stood in line at the grocery store behind someone on food stamps that is not only getting the bare necessities, but somehow affording also to load up on junk food and cigarettes as well? Not to mention they are rude to you or someone around you. Or are you sick of hearing the stories on the news of a woman barely of adult status delivering a 5th or 6th kid, all of whom are on Medicaid, and how happy she is to having another baby? Does it piss you off that you are footing the bill for these people that are abusing what was originally intended to be temporary help from the government? Again, I’m not talking about the people that are receiving temporary help and are working to better their lives. I’m talking about the perpetual offenders that are just poor enough to live off the government but have their priorities so straight that they can afford, satellite TV, alcohol, and cigarettes. At least we’re getting some tax dollars back from them in the form of the “sin taxable items.”

The concept for mandatory birth control was developed by a friend (who shall remain nameless unless she chooses to identify herself in the comments) and myself probably about 15 years ago now back in high school. I’m sure it was a class where we were bored and could be spotted counting ceiling tiles on any given day. The discussion had to do with how high school and college girls always seem to get knocked up when they are drunk. This may mean that alcohol increases fertility if you haven’t tried it yet. Since you don’t want babies being born to young, unprepared, un-wed mothers, this led us to the conclusion of putting birth control in alcohol. That way poor judgment could be rendered useless, and the innocent children, that get dragged into these situations rather than responsibly adopted out to capable and responsible families, would be protected from their would-be mothers.

Brilliant idea huh?!?!?

Forget the fact that it seems Marxist or Communistic or whatever category of bad political philosophy that you don’t want any part of. If you can overlook that one tiny problem, it’s a genius solution to a growing problem.

Of course over the years I’ve tried to improve upon the plan to add it to the water supply whereby, I will be the keeper of the antidote. Or at least I get to be in charge of who gets the temporary antidote. Prospective parents would of course have to pass a test, each time they want a new child, and prove to be able to support a child of their own means. They also have to have had no government assistance claims in the last 5 years. If they currently have a child, they have to show proof that they are respectable, responsible parents who are raising their current child or children to be respectable and responsible citizens.

The test would include questions like: “True or false, it’s ok for your child to play one parent against the other?” And for the sake of establishing consistency, “You child asks you if they can go to a party Saturday night, what’s your response?"
a) Of course dear. Do you need me to get the booze for you?
b) Yes, just don’t bring home any STDs.
c) Did you ask your mother/father?

Other questions would include simple geography and social studies questions like “how many states are there in the U.S.?” and “Can you name the current president and vice president of the U.S.?” and “How much do you pay in taxes?” Anyone responding incorrectly to these questions will have to reapply to have a child at a later date until they can prove themselves a wee bit more intelligent than that.

Seems like a relatively simple test right? Oh that my dream could become reality.

Anyways so there it is. I’m certain you will all agree while genius, it’s probably too good to be true. And of course it goes against my philosophy of freedom of choice, but anyone living off the government has taken away my freedom of choice not to support his or her irresponsibility. So I’m willing to compromise this one particular choice in the name of making the world a better place.